Its been nigh on six months to the day since my last post. I'm sorry I have to break the silence with such a trivial post, but the inbox on my cell phone is bursting at the seams.

 

The following is a collection of text messages (from oldest to newest) by one Mr Smith, whom I am friends with:

 

4/21/07 - 2:33pm

There once was a fellow named paco and a pegion who wanted his taco say paco these words we dont feed the birds for fear it will bring a whole flocko

 

6/10/07 - 6:08pm

Im drunk grocwery shoopping with my mom again

 

8/15/07 - 4:52pm

Crazy day buts all good now by the way my truck was a van peace bitch

 

8/15/07 - 7:11pm (a little over two hours later)

Yo hoesa yohoe a bottle of wine for me diseny land bithches whos with me first week of september lets do this shit i love xbox but is need a vacation

 

9/6/07 - 8:43pm

Ny father sigfry fucked a lion... Epics moiev is so fuch funny ier with wild horeses wine bottle movie over must pick newq watch peice out

 

9/6/07 - 9:00pm

Im out odf horewses wb in huntington beches is cw wht the fuck id want rhat bloinde

 

9/6/07 - 9:18pm

Oreso makes a desrwets pizzaa grosse fu7kyou mark dont now how that 7 nade it the r e iment fuck

 

9/6/07 - 10:15pm

Meed to sober up oit to find water if dont make it call rrz

 

9/6/07 - 11:09pm

Elivator girl reese witherspoon good kisser sober now don woorry i acomplished my msiision sir

 

9/23/07 - 3:01pm

I has mees a pitchers of bllue moon noew going drunk grocery shoppikmng with mum i love mmy hat myless

 

Mr Smith, I love it. Keep 'em coming man. We're going to publish you one of these days.

 

Fin